Wait For It…

If I wait long enough, they will stop watching and I can attack the plastic Easter egg.  It will eventually happen- Mom will forget that I’m waiting, Allison will walk away, and Maddie and Peyton will leave for school.  I shall make no sudden movements to alert them of my plan.  I will not bark or sneeze so that they forget where I sit.  I will stare patiently and wait, so the Spider-man egg- whose other half was long ago destroyed by me- will again be within my reach.

When I capture that egg, undetected, I will grasp it in my jaws and between my front paws and I will chew on it until it slips away on the wooden floor.  As it scurries around out of my grasp, I will chase it and bark excitedly as if it were alive and needing to be conquered.  I will enjoy myself until Mom rushes to take it away and scold me.  It might end badly, but it will be worth it, as all good thing are when you wait for them.

If I wait long enough…it will be mine.

The “D” Word

Today it happened…I was given the suggestion that I need to lose weight, to go on a diet, the “D” word.  This all came about at the Veterinarian’s office for a routine checkup.  I was shocked, to say the least.  No one, however, was as shocked, or appalled, as mom who has been saying all evening how children should never be led to believe that they are overweight.  True,  her comments were not directed at me, but because I am her child too, I am compelled to ascertain that I’m in that category.  “How can she have gained two pounds?  She’s on a special diet and she loves going for walks.”  She told the nurse. 

The nurse had no answers and mom left saying, “I think their scale is wrong.  And by the way, if you’ve really gained two pounds, Macy, I’m never buying you that brand of dog food again.”  Mom was clearing hovering around the other “D” word, Denial.  Okay, so maybe I’ve overdone it a bit.  Would it be too much to implore Allison to use reduced-fat Crayola crayons in her art work so I could consume fewer calories when I eat them?  I’m not sure about RoseArt, but Crayola crayons have a certain texture which makes their wax completely enticing.  Too bad I have to sneak them because mom goes ballistic when she catches me with one.

I had the pleasure of hanging out with our cousin Grace this past weekend.  She is fifteen months old and is a true believer of sharing her food with me.  Truly, she is my new best friend.  We’re not just talking a few table scraps here, we’re closer to five course meals.  Perhaps I should have fasted after my Grace gluttony, but you only live once and live I did- for the three days she was visiting me.

On the home front, all is well.  Dad will celebrate his birthday on Saturday.  Madison was moved up another level in gymnastics and she still has the most comfortable bed in the house, aside from mine.  Allison is potty trained and also a believer of sharing her food with me as long as I’m not being “rude,” her words, not mine.  Peyton builds the coolest legos and bionicles, but refuses to share them. 

Life is good, aside from the fact that I’m going on a diet.  So if you see me out and about and I don’t seem happy to you, have no fear.  I’m probably just grumpy from the “D” word.

Dear Santa

Dear Santa,

I want to start by apologizing for barking last year when you delivered presents to our house.  I often get spooked when I hear noises which are out-of-the-ordinary.  I promise to do better this time, and I look forward to getting a pat on the head, before you fill our stockings.

Did you know that my birthday is on Christmas?  I will be four-years-old.  I have been an extra good dog this year.  I always remember to go the bathroom outside and I’ve been trying not to “hover” around the dinner table.  Mom calls me Blackhawk- as in the helicopter- because she says I always hover when food is around.  I’m not allowed to do that.  For Christmas, I would like a new Kong and perhaps some other toys to play with.  I like to play ball and nothing beats a nice soft doggie bed.

Madison would really like Mario Kart for the Wii, books, and arts&crafts.  Peyton keeps changing his mind; but the last I heard, he was leaning toward Transformer toys, legos, Mario Galaxy, and some other stuff.  Allison is hoping to get Kai lan legos.  Allison says that you are at the North Pole.  Is that true?  I’m just wondering because Grandpa Mike claims that you live in Montana because it is the prettiest place on earth.  He also says the Easter Bunny lives there.  Maybe you could confirm that for us?

Looking forward to seeing you in a couple of weeks.  Again, I promise not to bark at you, as long as you don’t bring the annoying dog down the street, along.

Happy Advent!

Macy 

Identity Crisis

Mom took me to the dog groomer last week for a trim.  It’d been a while since my previous haircut, so I was looking pretty scruffy.  Anyway, the groomer must think I’m a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel…which I am not.  Let me clarify, I am a Shih tzu and quite proud of it.  I was born a Shih tzu and will live my entire life as a Shih tzu, except right now, I look like a Cavalier King Charles Spaniel. 

My ears are long and floppy and Maddie even started calling me, “the dog that’s not ours.”  I know she was joking, but she has a point.  I don’t even look like myself.  It’s humiliating. 

On a happy note, dad is back from Arkansas and is taking part in the Veteran’s Day Ceremony at Maddie and Peyton’s school.  Maddie is receiving an achievement award at the assembly and Peyton is carrying up the flag with his Cub Scout Pack.  Mom and Ally will attend the assembly, while I stay home and hide, due to my haircut.

Mom says the hair will grow out again, and that I will go back to my regular groomer next time.  She says I’m still the cutest Shih tzu she knows.  Obviously…there was no doubt about that fact. 

Can Dogs Get Swine Flu?

So I’ve been wondering lately, can dogs get Swine Flu…you know H1N1…the big kahuna?  The reason I ask is because the humans in my family have been passing that bug around the house like crazy.  So far, only one has tested positive for it- Mom.  Dad, Maddie, and Peyton have all had symptoms of it.  Ally, and me, have been  healthy.

Here’s the thing.  This flu looks miserable.  Mom has barely left the couch in like four days.  Seriously, all she does is make sure the kids are taken care of, and I’m fed, and other than that, she just stares at her laptop or the television screen.  Oh, and Dad- well he’s been out of town for the past few days.  So it leaves me to wonder….am I next?

Probably not, although I can attest to having my forehead checked for fever by Madison and my incessant barking should prove that my throat and lungs are completely healthy.  Hopefully everyone feels better soon.  Although, I’ve gotta say, having them home more is pretty darn cool.

Here’s my advice…wash your paws, cover your mouths, stay home when you’re sick, and always bark at the annoying dog down the street.

Octoberfest

I love October…there is so much to see and bark at.  Leaves falling from the trees in colors of red, orange, yellow and brown.  Children walking to and from their bus stop, and don’t even get me started on the trick-or-treaters.  How do they expect me not to bark at people dressed up in costumes, ringing my doorbell?  By not allowing me to bark- you are asking me to abandon my reason for living!

Mom’s birthday was today.  The family went out for dinner and to a bookstore- her favorite place to shop.  Every year on her birthday, for Valentine’s Day, Christmas, Easter, Mother’s Day, and any random holiday the family celebrates- she always asks for the same thing- a day with no whining.  I’m not sure if that worked out for her this time.

This is how the morning went…mom came downstairs to make coffee and breakfast.  Peyton quickly followed and announced, “Happy Birthday, Mom.  You know what this means?  My birthday is only five months away!”  Then Maddie came down and said, “Happy Birthday, Mom.  I’m so excited because now my birthday is only eight days away.  I can’t wait!”  Ally came downstairs and said, “My birfday today!”  

Traveling…an According to Macy blog, by Maddie

This weekend my family and I went traveling.  I was excited.  I was the first one to jump in the car.  I sat and scratched and layed down and waited and looked out the window and did everything a dog could possibly do in a moving car.  In the next few minutes I got bored.  Finally we stopped.  Peyton turned off his DS and Maddie stopped reading.  I jumped off a seat and ran to the door as Mom opened it.  Suddenly, a man walked by.  I did what I do best- I barked.

“Macy!” said mom.  “Quit that barking.”

I didn’t want to obey.  By that time Maddie, Peyton and Ally were out of the car.  I tried to jump out too, but as you know, things don’t always work that way.  Mom closed the door.  I ran to the driver’s seat and watched them go.  It looked like they were getting food to eat.  But out of the corner of my eye I saw a lady get into her car.  Ha!  You can’t get away that easy.  I started barking at her.

Finally my family came back.  I didn’t want them to catch me barking, so I shut my mouth.  When they all got back in we were off again.  It wasn’t too long until we finally got to Yakima, our destination.  Now I was understanding.  We were going to Genevieve’s house!  Genevieve is an older Shih tzu.  She’s older than Maddie!  Sometimes she gets mad at me.  We have fights.  But still, I like her house.  When we opened the door to Genevieve’s house, Genevieve barked.  I walked proudly inside.  I waited for my favorite family member, Hannah, to come in.  It was good to be in a house,  And my family is safe, for now.

The Great Monster Extraction

I don’t know if you are aware of this or not, but monsters live in our house.  Personally, I don’t believe this to be true, but according to Ally, they are everywhere…underneath beds, behind furniture, inside of closets, upstairs, downstairs, on the stairs.  There are tiger monsters, elephant monsters, cat monsters, doggie monsters, Mickey Mouse monsters, and Elmo monsters.  I sit here all day, mostly staring out of the window and chewing on a kong, and I can tell you- I have never seen one of these monsters.

“Allison,” mom says, “I promise you, there are no monsters.”  Mom and Dad have not gotten a solid nights sleep since Ally was born.  She has this internal alarm clock that goes off every night at about 2 a.m.  It’s exhausting- not to me, of course- I sleep whenever I feel like it.  That is the privilege of being the one in charge.

“No Mommy,” Ally says, “Monster- right there.” She is pointing toward the toy bins. 

“Ally,” mom rubs her hands through her hair, “I promise you- there are no monsters.  That bin only has toy dishes and food.”

Ally jumps up and down, “No!  Monster right there!” 

Mom takes a deep breath, “I’ll tell you what- let’s go get my special monster spray to get rid of any monsters you see.”

Ally follows mom into the bathroom where they grab a bottle of cucumber melon body spray.  Ally begins to show mom where all of the “monsters” are.  Mom starts to spray everything…and I mean everything.

Seriously…this is how you plan to get rid of monsters?  With a green body spray that leaves a scented mist everywhere.  I could do better than that.

It’s as if mom hears me.  “See Macy, we’re getting rid of the monsters that Ally thinks are here.”  Then she pats my forehead, as I turn my head to the side, and starts spraying again.

“Right there, Mommy.”  Ally is pointing to the hall closet where the blankets are kept and then Maddie’s bed.  Mom is following her around spraying, and I am beginning to get a headache.

Just let me at these monsters- you know I can take them.  True…I can’t see them yet, but when I do, they are going down.

September 27

It is another busy day for me.  The sun is shining, leading a lot of people to meander down the street.  I sit at my normal post and watch for anything suspicious- as I’ve told you before- I am the defender of our house.  Plus, there is this really annoying dog who lives across the street from us and whenever we walk around the neighborhood, he tries to jump over the six foot fence.  All you can see is his head bounding up and down.  I see you…do you honestly believe you can jump over a six foot fence?  I want to ask him. But instead I just shake my head and keep walking.

It was a busy week here.  Mom had a writer’s workshop yesterday so she was gone, and we didn’t get to take our normal walk.  She injured her knee a few months ago and is in physical therapy now- so she is not allowed to run.  This works well for me because she takes me on long walks while she recovers.  Everyday, when I see her pull out that green leash, and tie her tennis shoes, I get a tad excited.  I start jumping up and down and spinning in circles in front of her feet, just in case she forgets that I want to go for a walk with her.  Take me…take me…take me… 

“Macy…chill!” she commands as she puts on my leash.  Then we take off and I get to look to at everything we pass, and occasionally sniff around when she slows down long enough to let me.  We see Mount Rainier in the distance, green grass, trees, fellow dogs being walked, and kids riding past on bicycles.  Today, we even saw a garter snake.  I jumped away, but mom thought it was pretty cool because it reminded her of when she and her brother, Jer, used to find them in their yard, in Havre.

Maddie and Peyton are putting together a Star War’s Star Destroyer lego ship.  If I were a puppy interested in chewing on legos, I would seriously be in Heaven right now.  Legos are all over the living room floor, but they are really good at building legos. 

“The Sith’s being kind of funny.  Really smart, huh?”  Peyton said, because he is taking a break from building and wants to play with the characters.  “I’m not Darth Baby- I’m Darth Baby.  I rule, I rule, I rule.” 

Maddie, who is still building said, “Uh Peyton, I think we’re missing a piece.” 

Peyton found the pieces Maddie was missing.  Peyton is making the Clone Troopers feel bad, because Darth Vadar’s saying he’s the best.

Highlights of the week…

The family went to the Fair, Maddie and Ally moved into a new bedroom and turned Maddie’s old one into a playroom, Peyton got a Transformer bedspread.  Maddie had gymnastic’s class and then everyone went to a Fire Station open house.  Maddie, Peyton and Ally all got new bike helmets.

At the Zoo

My family went to the Zoo last weekend…I was not invited.  Please can I come?  I willed to them, as they assembled by the back door with Ally’s sippy cup, Peyton’s transformer toy, and Madison’s book for the car ride.  I promise I’ll be good.  Still, they didn’t pick up on my vibes…apparently dogs are not allowed at the Zoo, no matter how adorable they are.

When they came home, I got to hear about all of the fun stuff they saw.  Here is the rundown…

Maddie and Peyton played on the jungle gym at the Kid’s Zone, Ally played on the slide and watched the Stingray move around behind the glass case. Dad said “darn it” when he realized he and mom had forgotten the camera… the aquarium was really fun because there were a lot of “fishies,” according to Ally.  Peyton liked the sharks and the yellow robot he was able to control inside of the water.  Madison filled the family in on what she’d leared about starfish.  Mom’s favorite thing at the aquarium was (and has been for the past nine years) the jellyfish.  The seahorse exhibit was the same, but interesting.  Ally became obsessed with finding Nemo and Dory in the tanks. 

Then they walked to the African Safari part of the Zoo.  They saw two tigers…amazing because the tigers are typically lying down or hiding in the bush.  Ally was scared of the tigers and dad tried growling to get their attention.  The monkeys are always showing off, and they didn’t disappoint today.  My family usually spends a lot of time watching the monkeys entertain them.  Unfortunately I missed it because they left me at home.  The elephants were getting ready for their dinner, but one in particular was feeling a bit like Happy Feet, and appeared to be dancing around and moving to the beat.

Before they left for a stop at the Old Spaghetti Factory to eat dinner, they rode on the Carousel.  Ally only wanted to sit on the bench because   “Ally scared.”  Peyton and Maddie got to ride it three times, although Peyton was disappointed that he didn’t get to ride on the polar bear. 

Even though I wasn’t there, it sounds like my family had a great day at the Zoo.  Maybe next time they’ll take me with them.   Even if they don’t I’ll still be waiting happily at the door to greet them when they get home.